OMT One Man's Trash...from Norman Leahy

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 :::

More October Surprises

Important political safety tip #1: If the candidate and his friends insist on having photos taken of themselves wearing nothing but body paint, don't put them on the hard drive.

Important political safety tip #2: If the candidate has submitted a reimbursement request while in office, make sure there are no phone calls to sex hotlines on the form.

Important campaign safety tip #3: If running for office in Virginia cease speaking to anyone on any topic -- publicly or privately -- for at least three decades (preferably more) before running. No hunting allowed, though fishing may be allowed if under the supervision of not fewer than five (5) witnesses of varying racial, ethnic, religious and political backgrounds. No, make that 10. Make sure never, ever to publish in either print or electronic form anything that may or could be construed as insulting or demeaning to any person, living, dead or with opposable thumbs. This includes, but is not limited to, books, scripts, notes, articles, birthday cards and grocery lists. Never say anything that could be, might be or will be construed as belittling dead presidents, their wives, ex-wives, Vegas wives, former girlfriends, children (both legitimate and not), or hangers-on.

Important political safety tip #4: Avoid all contact -- be it physical, emotional, rhetorical, metaphysical or existential, with anyone named "Sabato."

::: posted by Norman Leahy at 10/04/2006 3 comments


"You know what the fellow said: In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they also produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love -- they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock." -- Orson Welles, The Third Man

"The graveyards are full of indespensable men" -- Charles de Gaulle

"Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor? Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese!" -- Montgomery Burns

"Don't pretend that you know me...cause I don't even know myself" -- The Who

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